Coping with change

Yes, yes, I know.  It’s been absolutely ages since my last blog entry.  And I’ve not been particularly active on Twitter lately either.  Nor really on Facebook, for those of you who know me there as well.  But there is a reason for that.

Thing is, now that I have a ‘real’ job, working in an office 9 till 5 every day, I have very little time or energy for much else.  I come home in the evenings and have very little enthusiasm for staring at another computer screen for the rest of the evening.  I check my emails for anything important, but things like Twitter just get pushed aside: “I’ll do that tomorrow”.

I did try to remedy that not long ago by installing Flock, which is a social media browser based on Chrome with a funky sidebar linking into Facebook and Twitter and suchlike.  That gives me a constant feed of what’s going on in the online world, which is nice.  If nothing else, it’s a useful reminder that the online world is still there, waiting for me to participate when I finally think of something to say.  But that’s part of the problem – I have very little to say at the moment.  I read other people’s Twitter feeds and Facebook statuses, and feel I ought to say something in return, but I can’t find the words, so I remain silent.

I feel like I’ve lost part of that creative spark just lately.  My current job is more technical at the moment, more to do with programming than visual design.  Which is a shame, because I really enjoy that side of things.  These days I seem to think in terms of data flow diagrams and entity relationships, in PHP and Javascript and any other code I happen upon.  I don’t think in colours, or textures, or typography.  I miss that.  And it’s almost as if that change in focus has stopped me being quite as creative in writing too – even this blog post doesn’t feel like it stands up against some of my others, it doesn’t seem to have much of a plot to it, nor my usual eloquence of language.  All this coding is making my brain numb.

I guess what I really need is an artistic outlet of some sort, to keep my mind active in the evenings.  I ought to spend some time working on the album I was recording last year.  I should dig out a sketch book and some pencils and do some still life drawings.  I should invest in an Airfix model.  I should get my Lego out and build something monumental.  Any or all of the above.  And maybe that will give me the stimulus I need to share my creativity with the world, to get on Twitter again properly, to make sure my brain doesn’t resign itself to a future of endless coding…

3 thoughts on “Coping with change

  1. “All this coding is making my brain numb”

    Don’t worry, Matthew, you will eventually come to accept you’ll never have another creative thought again. We’ve all been there 😉

    Part of the issue sounds like you’re just not used to working a full-time job and you’re tired in the evenings. Maybe you just need to give it some time and you’ll start having more energy then.

    Either way, don’t feel bad for not being on Twitter etc… I probably waste too much of my time there and I’m sure it would be better to spend my time doing something less, well, pointless!


  2. I too have been feeling like I need to be creative again. Stabbing felt tips at paper and covering everything in sequins and sticky stars with Samuel just doesn’t quite cut it. Maybe we could be artistic and creative at the same time seeing as we live together and all!


  3. Sounds like you are adjusting to a new routine. And tbh, full time work does wipe you out…

    I would suggest that you start by getting enough sleep, and eating a balanced diet. Given the amount of brain work you are doing, you need plenty of essential fatty acids (oily fish and nuts), but not so much carbs.

    Once you get that stage in a routine, then work out where you can put some exercise into your commute such as walking or cycling.

    Of course, you could write the code in emacs and have as many pretty colours as you want…


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